an open letter to someone i’ve loved (and still love) the most

i don’t know how to start this, but i feel like i need to express. above all the things on my list of things i’d like to tell you, what i have to apologize is the most important, so this is what i’m going to do primarily. i’ve learned in my life that we should never judge anyone if you don’t know how this person was feeling at the time they hurt you. i am really sorry about ALL those names i called you when i frist knew about your actions. deeply sorry. i can’t understand, and maybe i never will, the reason you’ve done it all, and that’s why i won’t try to make you feel bad about it. i’m done with this. i know you never had the intention to hurt me, cause i can see in your eyes that you care about me… as if the good you did to me was not enough. and this is what i’ll carry with me forever, the good part of people. our story is the definition of what i call love. and love keeps no memories of wrongs.

on the other hand, love rejoices with the truth. i am not trying to seem like i didn’t commit mistakes so far. i’ve mistaken a lot of times in these two years. what i’m trying to say is that every single time i made something that in my perception could hurt you, i talked to you about it. i’ve never hided you things that i thought you should know. and i don’t wanna be too self-confident, but this is not easy to find.

you are amazing, don’t ever believe the opposite. i love you, no matter what. i just wish with all my heart that someday you’ll realize how beautiful you are. i wish you stop thinking that those scars will never heal, i still think they’re the reason for such behaviour. stop criticizing yourself for things that don’t invalidate you as a person. you have something fantastic inside, i can still see that. that’s why i’ve fallen in love with you.

it hurts now, you can’t barely imagine the intensity of it. but i’m trying to be a positive person, and i believe it’ll get better sometime. this is nothing in front of everything i have to tell you, but i gues i could consider it as a beginning.